To a preacher from a pew person:
It is really so very sad,
with all the brilliant thoughts you’ve had.
That when upon your text you muse,
we cannot hear you in the pews.
Reply from a pulpit person:
You cannot hear? Alas! Alack!
Then why on earth sit so far back?
Just take a pew a little nearer
and then the message will be clearer.
Attributed to John Cambell
– actual source unknown